You Become What You Hate - Nick Melville

“Ugh. I HATE how petty he/she is!” The common response? To out-petty the other person. When we hate say… the way a person behaves around us, or maybe it’s a popular figure, or maybe it’s certain decisions people make; whatever the object of hate, have you ever noticed how much time and care you dedicate to it?

You think about them/it when you wake up and when you’re not occupied; sometimes when you are; sounds a lot like pining if you take out the emotions. You’re “daydreaming” maybe about the person (possibly imagining 12 different ways to cause their downfall), their name is on the tip of your tongue, you’re the first to notice their every move; sounds like love to me! And it is, kind of. Hate is love that’s been corrupted: it’s obsession mixed with envy.

You think about the object of hate and focus tirelessly on how much power it has over you and so you feed it more power with your thoughts. “I hate that that guy cut me off in traffic! I had to slow down and it scared me, and now I’m going to be late, and now I feel like he’s slowing down to make it worse, and I think he’s drunk, and now I’m probably going to die from a collision because of his carelessness! I’m just going to speed past him so I can stay safe and I’ll honk really loud to wake him from his stupor!”

Admittedly an inflated example, but see how the other driver who was rude for a moment took several moments from the person they offended and how they steadily were given more and more power until they were on the verge of taking the other driver’s own life? And did you notice how the other driver ultimately ended up recreating the same behavior (causing another traffic hazard)?

That’s how hate works. It obsesses over the power another has over it, causing bitterness to flourish, and then the same action to come out in response; i.e. America hates terrorists, so we…. terrorize them. Hate works to destroy in order to replace what has been taken, which is why we ultimately become what we hate.

Indifference, however, to everyone and everything, including ourseves is virtually indistinguishable from absolute, unconditional love. Indifference to everyone and everything, except ourselves is the behavior of a psychopath, and love that’s distilled down to only one person or object is what ends unconditional love. However, when we truly love unconditionally and willfully, we create, but we’ll talk more on this later